So I’m back in the gym this week, after my lengthy diatribe about discipline last week. Admittedly, it’s Wednesday morning and I’ve only been once so far, but there’s a trip planned for this afternoon prior to heading up to Northbrook for Christmas Eve with the family. Work is slow enough that I don’t think I’ll be missed if I sneak out for a half hour on the elliptical. Of course, I say that and the hour I’ll be gone will be the hour things go to hell. Although considering the way things have gone lately, everyone should be used to it.
As you can guess, things at work are weirdly busy, but dull. December in years past has been a month of frenzied fifteen hour days at the office, busily trying to get expiring loans booked, or new loans put in place for companies who have a year end deadline. This year, not so much. We’re all about risk avoidance, and closely monitoring the loans we do have, and for some reason, none of them are expiring on December 31st. It’s made for a quiet month, but intense, as I’m trying to keep as close an eye on my companies as possible without seeming like I work there. Last night this stuff kept me at work until 7:30 or so. This was a bit later than I intended, and there was a break for dinner around 6pm that took twenty minutes. The good news, as it relates to working out, is that at the end of the work day I went straight over to the gym and worked out for about an hour. I lifted weights for the first time in ages, and it was great to be back on that side of the gym floor.
There are a couple reasons I enjoyed myself so much last night. The first was that at 7:30 the week of Christmas, there was no one there, or almost no one. It’s just much easier to get a workout done when there aren’t any other people using the machines you want to use. This seems obvious, I know, but there aren’t many times where there aren’t several people in the area, and I just prefer to be alone over there, taking care of business and getting out of there. I’ve got a few post-workday lifting routines for different sets of muscle groups, and if there’s no one there, I can get each one done in about a half hour, while breaking a pretty good sweat and feeling it the next day. Last night was chest and triceps, for those you curious few, and I took it as a good sign when I woke up this morning that I was already a little sore. Just means I did my job efficiently last night. I also spent twenty minutes on the elliptical after the lifting to keep my heart rate up at an aerobic pace. Supposedly, twenty minutes a day is enough to improve your cardiovascular activity, though I usually prefer thirty minutes.
The second reason it was a good trip is a bit less practical, and a bit more personal. The staff at the Equinox where I work out are generally pretty cool, though there are a few who go out of their way to be nice. I’m sure there’s a corporate policy in place mandating that every member be greeted and bid farewell, but one woman in particular has made it a point to know my name and ask how things are going. It’s a small gesture, but it makes it easier to show up there, knowing that at least one person seems genuinely interested in my welfare. Last night, if that wasn’t enough, I had a nice conversation with another of the staff who also happened to be pretty damn cute. More on that later in the week, though don’t get your hopes up, it’s going to be more of this interminable self-reflection on the conversation we had, rather than anything juicy, as my life is far too boring for anything like that to happen. Signing off for now. Cheers, kids, and Merry (or Happy) Christmas!
Blake
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Disciplinary Action
The last few weeks have been an interesting time in my life. Well, interesting for me at least. Not sure anyone else would be all that fascinated to hear the details of what’s been happening. But hey, this blog is all about reaching a very limited audience, right? That’s what I thought. So without any further ado, (adieu? http://beesbuzz.biz/blog/e/2005/11/12-get_your_idioms.php) let’s dive in to the weeks past in the life of one Blako Townsley, shall we?
For those of you curious few, no, I have not forgotten about this blog. That limited audience I mentioned about twenty words ago is small, but very vocal. I appreciate the encouragement, Tim. In fact, I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog as a metaphor for the rest of my life. Started with good intentions, occasionally fulfills its purpose without making any real headway towards a larger goal or achievement, etc. Real cheery stuff, no? I’m mostly kidding about the lack of progress towards larger goals and achievements, it’s just that lately the notable milestones have been overshadowed by events of the not-so-distant past.
It’s no secret that I’ve struggled with my routine in getting to the gym. Most frequently, this has been blamed on the tribulations associated with attending grad school while holding down a full time job. The laundry list of obstacles included lack of a regular exercise time, exhaustion, homework, iPod breakdowns, etc. Whether or not these tribulations were a real challenge is debatable, since I seemed to get plenty of drinking, sleeping and goofing around done while I was working and learning. I’m nothing if not (semi-belatedly) self-aware of my shortcomings. I’ve got all sorts of problems keeping me from achieving my stated goal of losing weight. I’m a procrastinator. I’m compulsive. I’m impulsive. I’m selfish. I’m lazy. I lack foresight. I lack motivation. I lack the ability to self-motivate. You get the point.
And this is in light of the fact that I’ve been actually working out lately. Two or three times a week for the past three weeks. The reason for the reflection and negativity about my personal habits is rooted in work. This may or may not be a surprise to those of you out there, but work has not been so hot lately. About six weeks ago, I was placed on a performance improvement plan due to some problems I’d been having at work regarding the execution of my job responsibilities. The sad thing was, it wasn’t even a surprise. My manager, Mike, is a good guy who is one of those rare people who tells you he’s going to be honest with you, and then goes ahead and does it, regardless of how negative the message is. Mike had told me that in an effort to save my job, I was going to be put on this plan to prove to Mike’s boss that I was an employee worth retaining. This issue was in doubt due to some incidents earlier in the year where I was not diligent about collecting some legal fees from one of our clients. I put off asking because the timing wasn’t right, and I didn’t feel I was getting the support I needed from some members of my team, so I decided to let it go, figuring that someone else would take care of it. Turns out this wasn’t such a hot idea. We almost had to eat the fees, and only recovered them through special efforts of Mike, who did it to make me look better than I actually was.
Being put on the plan wasn’t something I took lightly. In fact, I’ve thought about little else for the past six weeks, as I’ve tried to maintain my job here as the economy crumbles around the world. I’ve gone through periods where I blamed my bosses for not properly motivating me, my team members for not helping out when it must have seemed clear that I couldn’t get the job done on my own, and, finally, myself for being such a reprehensible shitbag that I couldn’t stay on top of what is, at its essence, a ridiculously easy job. Hell, during the entire period, I knew it was my fault, I just didn’t want to accept the fact that I failed to live up to my responsiblities, since that is a terrible thing to have to admit. But fail I did. And no matter the reasons I came up with while trying to make myself feel better, I realized that the only reason any of this happened is that I lack a serious amount of discipline in my life. As I’m sure it is with most people, I prefer to be doing things that are interesting and challenging and fun. And when those elements are lacking, I tend to disengage and let my worst tendencies of procrastination and laziness dominate. And about the time this admission finally made its way to the forefront of my brain earlier this month, so too did the realization that this behavior spills over into my quest to get in shape and lose weight.
So, with this emotional baggage-laden digression, we get back to the purpose of this marathon posting: the working out. I mentioned earlier that I have been getting back to the gym about two or three times a week. That has been great, but like my job and other things in my life, I can do better. This blog is included in that, and yes, I realize that has been said before. But I am serious. School is over, work sucks, going to the gym and writing about it on a regular basis are both hard to do. I guess I’m making a pre New Years resolution to strive for more discipline in my life, to do all the things I say I will, and then follow through. I am trying to be a better persons, I promise, but as with all things in life, only time will tell. If encouragement is your thing, feel free to send some my way. If not, just the fact that you take the time to read this place for expression of my frustrations and exultations means a lot. Please stick with me, and we’ll see where this thing goes.
Cheers,
Blake
For those of you curious few, no, I have not forgotten about this blog. That limited audience I mentioned about twenty words ago is small, but very vocal. I appreciate the encouragement, Tim. In fact, I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog as a metaphor for the rest of my life. Started with good intentions, occasionally fulfills its purpose without making any real headway towards a larger goal or achievement, etc. Real cheery stuff, no? I’m mostly kidding about the lack of progress towards larger goals and achievements, it’s just that lately the notable milestones have been overshadowed by events of the not-so-distant past.
It’s no secret that I’ve struggled with my routine in getting to the gym. Most frequently, this has been blamed on the tribulations associated with attending grad school while holding down a full time job. The laundry list of obstacles included lack of a regular exercise time, exhaustion, homework, iPod breakdowns, etc. Whether or not these tribulations were a real challenge is debatable, since I seemed to get plenty of drinking, sleeping and goofing around done while I was working and learning. I’m nothing if not (semi-belatedly) self-aware of my shortcomings. I’ve got all sorts of problems keeping me from achieving my stated goal of losing weight. I’m a procrastinator. I’m compulsive. I’m impulsive. I’m selfish. I’m lazy. I lack foresight. I lack motivation. I lack the ability to self-motivate. You get the point.
And this is in light of the fact that I’ve been actually working out lately. Two or three times a week for the past three weeks. The reason for the reflection and negativity about my personal habits is rooted in work. This may or may not be a surprise to those of you out there, but work has not been so hot lately. About six weeks ago, I was placed on a performance improvement plan due to some problems I’d been having at work regarding the execution of my job responsibilities. The sad thing was, it wasn’t even a surprise. My manager, Mike, is a good guy who is one of those rare people who tells you he’s going to be honest with you, and then goes ahead and does it, regardless of how negative the message is. Mike had told me that in an effort to save my job, I was going to be put on this plan to prove to Mike’s boss that I was an employee worth retaining. This issue was in doubt due to some incidents earlier in the year where I was not diligent about collecting some legal fees from one of our clients. I put off asking because the timing wasn’t right, and I didn’t feel I was getting the support I needed from some members of my team, so I decided to let it go, figuring that someone else would take care of it. Turns out this wasn’t such a hot idea. We almost had to eat the fees, and only recovered them through special efforts of Mike, who did it to make me look better than I actually was.
Being put on the plan wasn’t something I took lightly. In fact, I’ve thought about little else for the past six weeks, as I’ve tried to maintain my job here as the economy crumbles around the world. I’ve gone through periods where I blamed my bosses for not properly motivating me, my team members for not helping out when it must have seemed clear that I couldn’t get the job done on my own, and, finally, myself for being such a reprehensible shitbag that I couldn’t stay on top of what is, at its essence, a ridiculously easy job. Hell, during the entire period, I knew it was my fault, I just didn’t want to accept the fact that I failed to live up to my responsiblities, since that is a terrible thing to have to admit. But fail I did. And no matter the reasons I came up with while trying to make myself feel better, I realized that the only reason any of this happened is that I lack a serious amount of discipline in my life. As I’m sure it is with most people, I prefer to be doing things that are interesting and challenging and fun. And when those elements are lacking, I tend to disengage and let my worst tendencies of procrastination and laziness dominate. And about the time this admission finally made its way to the forefront of my brain earlier this month, so too did the realization that this behavior spills over into my quest to get in shape and lose weight.
So, with this emotional baggage-laden digression, we get back to the purpose of this marathon posting: the working out. I mentioned earlier that I have been getting back to the gym about two or three times a week. That has been great, but like my job and other things in my life, I can do better. This blog is included in that, and yes, I realize that has been said before. But I am serious. School is over, work sucks, going to the gym and writing about it on a regular basis are both hard to do. I guess I’m making a pre New Years resolution to strive for more discipline in my life, to do all the things I say I will, and then follow through. I am trying to be a better persons, I promise, but as with all things in life, only time will tell. If encouragement is your thing, feel free to send some my way. If not, just the fact that you take the time to read this place for expression of my frustrations and exultations means a lot. Please stick with me, and we’ll see where this thing goes.
Cheers,
Blake
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